i have a job at an extremely busy, busy office! from the time i arrive until the time i leave....busy, busy, busy!
friday i had a very productive day and it felt really good. i had that sense of accomplishment. while there are days that i feel liked i worked all day and got nothing done, they are fairly rare. overall, i really like my job and look forward to going to work. why?
why would i not rather stay home with my children? isn't that what mommies would rather do? well, not this mommy!
in the debate of which mother is better; the stay-at-home versus the working mom, i know i am a better mother when i am not home all the time. for others i realize it is different. and, i suppose for some it is a question that they struggle with. to be quite honest, daddy is a much better stay at home parent. i tried to do the stay at home thing and i absolutely hated it. there is only so much pbs kids i can handle. in fact, one night i met a few girlfriends for a couple of beers and ordered a pbs instead of a pbr! (for you non-beer drinkers that is a pabst blue ribbon)
besides the money, it is the sense of accomplishment i crave that makes being a working mother more appealing than being a stay-at-home mom. motherhood is hard enough under the best of circumstances. but, add an autistic child to the mix and things get difficult quick.
how many times have we heard..."they should make a manual to come with children", or, "they don't come with instructions." and cruise down any "parenting" section at the bookstore and there are plenty of books offering advise on how to rear our children. in my opinion there are to many "professionals" out there telling us the "right" way. the way i see it, the parenting style should be based on the particular parent and child.
for some the approach of "children are meant to be seen and not heard" may be right. for others their child is the center of the universe. for some, time-outs; others maybe tough love. some educate at home while others prefer the public schools. there are many different theories and methods, but most of these theories and methods pertain to the typical child. a parent figures out what works for them and usually by the end of the day they have a sense of accomplishment.
well, i don't feel that with sir dantes. some days i do, but they are very few. i love him to death! so, don't confuse the issues. the typical methods of rearing a child seem to be lost on him.
take today for example. since thursday evening i have been feeling a bit under the weather and today i could have stayed in bed all day. but it was so beautiful that i was determined that we would get outside. working in the garden would be the game of the day. we have several child friendly gardening tools and sir dantes has always seemed to love digging around in the dirt. but, not today! while daddy, ms. maxie, and myself set about digging weeds sir dantes did not want to participate. he ran off so many times. whenever he was called back, you would think that we were torturing him. here...dig in the dirt, here is a shovel to dig! get dirty!
it ended up with both me and his father being mad and frustrated and sir dantes sent to his room crying. sigh!
you try to teach and you try to have fun with your children, and most days it just seems lost on sir dantes. i guess it is the social difficulties associated with autism. he just doesn't seem to get it....he doesn't seem to get simple concepts of "stay here"..."don't touch"..."stop that". on top of that he doesn't sense when we are getting frustrated with his behavior. ms. maxie knows when she's going to far by just the tone of our voice. but, she is a typical child and picks up on those social clues.
his autism at times makes me feel like an inadequate parent who just can't seem to get it right...hence the sense of not getting anything accomplished. but you know what? tomorrow is going to be another beautiful day in middle tennessee, so i will be trying again.
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