When our daughter was diagnosed with autism 15 years ago, some of our first concerns centered around her life as a adult. We wondered if she would live independently, if she would find a fulfilling job, and what she would be like as an adult. After years of struggling to raise Katie the best we could, we have experienced some very “normalizing” events recently. Although life is always a work-in-progress, we are thankful to see more and more of the pay-off for our hard work.

Katie had her first real job interview last week. She interviewed for a job working as a preschool teacher’s aide. Before the interview, I went over to her apartment to make sure her new shirt was ironed and to help her with her make-up and hair. She is not a girly-girl so fixing make-up and hair is not her forte. She drove herself to the interview, and I went about my afternoon activities with a nervous energy. I read somewhere that having a child is like watching your heart go walking around without you. That is exactly how I felt. My heart was at her interview and I felt nervous as if it were my own. I have two daughters and each time one of them has a tryout or event, I feel like it is my own. I cannot imagine having a whole slew of children— my nerves would be totally shot.

Follow up:

Transition to adulthood reminds me of when our kids transition to school for the first time. For the first few weeks after she moved to her own apartment, things just did not seem right at all. My mind was flooded with the details of what could go wrong and how she could get hurt. I often wondered how she was doing. I had trouble sleeping. The house seemed much too quiet. Now that she has been gone for a month, I am feeling better. She is doing relatively well. Sometimes she gets lonely or frustrated, but that happened at our home too. She suggested that I take the Play Station out of her apartment because she found that she was getting obsessed with it. I was so impressed with her maturity to monitor her own behavior.

Having your child with autism grow into a young adult has some perks compared to having a typical child grow up. There are a few really positive traits about Katie that are probably due in part to her autism. She is a good, moral person and a rule follower. She is punctual, reliable in many ways and generally honest. She likes for life to be predictable which means she is not prone to taking foolish risks as so many young adults do. She lives simply and is satisfied with just a few things. She enjoys a good relationship with my husband and me, and doesn’t think we are totally uncool all of the time.

So now we are waiting for the results of Katie’s job interview. She and I both are waiting expectantly as this will determine Katie’s next move. Either she will be working, or she will begin volunteering until her summer job begins the first of June. My husband is going to teach her how to mow the lawn this weekend. These are such “normal” kinds of things for an 18 year old, and we are enjoying that. Some days have more challenges than others but we look forward to watching her mature a bit more each day. Growing older with autism looks pretty good so far. Stay tuned…