Here at my home we have a role reversal. I go to work at a 40 hour a week job and my husband stays home and takes care of the babies. It is a little unconventional, but it works for us. Every morning when I arrive at my office I call to let my husband know that I arrived safely. If you've ever driven down I-24 during rush hour you'd understand! Of course, I ask, "How's Sir Dantes?". Many mornings I can hear him having a meltdown in the background. It always breaks my heart...for Sir Dantes and my husband. I get a few hours of the day to escape autism and my husband does not. But, my husband always assures me that things are okay. Sir Dantes is just upset that he's been told again to not turn the coffee pot back on or something like that.

Well lately it has been a little different. No early morning meltdowns. In fact, in the past couple of weeks we've experienced no meltdowns at all. Sir Dantes has been Mr. Happy. Should there be a problem with this?

Follow up:

Theoretically no. I want my children to be happy. After all they are children and this part of their lives should be filled with happiness. There will be enough disappointment and heartbreak when they get older. But, something bothers me that may be an issue later on. The awkward "I am a special needs" child happy dance.

Next school year Sir Dantes will be enrolled in kindergarten. We are happy about this and dread it at the same time. We have prepared ourselves for possible conflicts that may arise in hammering out the I.E.P plan. What I am not prepared for is the possible making fun of him that may arise from other students in his class. After all, the "happy dance" is a trademark sign of "I have a disability". It is pretty classic; he jumps up and down while smiling and flapping his hands all over. Actually it is precious to see him so happy. I love it, but I am afraid others will not understand. I am especially concerned the other children will not understand. How many times have we heard about how cruel children can be? How many times do we hear about bullying in the schools and the horrible effects it has? I have heard them and read about them to many times and I do not want my son becoming a victim to bullying. He should be allowed to express his happiness without fear of mocking.

So, I have a theory. Why do we, as humans, tend to make fun of things? Usually, it is because we do not understand. It is a way for us to deal with things that make no sense to us. Think about it. If you understand why someone acts the way they do, you tend to have more empathy; more understanding. If you have a typical child and a child with autism, how does your typical child act when faced with a situation in which a special needs child is involved? Probably with more empathy. Your typical child is knowledgeable of disabilities and therefore able to deal with the experience without making fun. What the little ones at school need is education about autism and other delays and disabilities.

When I was in high school our school was chosen to be a pilot program for integrating special needs teens into the regular classroom for a few hours during the day. Prior to this transition an assembly was held for all the students. We had a few speakers about the different issues the "special needs" children suffered from and why they behave the way they do. We were instructed about how to interact with them. We were shown short films and slide shows. I never, ever recall a single one of these students being made fun of or bullied. Are today's students prepared for special needs children in the classroom? Probably not.

Ms. Maxie started first grade in the public school system this year. This school has a special needs program. I am sure that she interacts with these students during some part of her day. However, not one assembly has she attended about special needs students in her classroom, or with her in the cafeteria, or out on the playground. With the number of children today being diagnosed with autism, should not this be part of the curriculum? Should there not be an assembly? If these young, typical children were educated and prepared possibly there would be more understanding and acceptance and less bullying.

Hopefully they are some school systems in our country that prepare children for dealing with children that appear and act different. If not, I think it is something that we should rally for. This spring we are suppose to set up an appointment with the special need educators at the school. I think during this time I am going to suggest a program for education be put in place. I think, maybe, that I will insist on it. Sir Dantes needs to be able to go to school without fear. He already has enough problems interacting with others that he does not need others barriers put up in front of him. He needs to know that society can accept him for who he is...happy dance and all.