Sir Dantes has been in rare form this week. Or, maybe he's been about the same and we are just worn out. Defiant! That is the word of the week. Well, we will show him who is boss...maybe. Sometimes I forget who is suppose to be the boss around here. But, when I say "no" I mean "NO!". I mean no until I mean "whatever..." Am I wrong about this?

This past week Sir Dantes has had a head cold. Snot everywhere! There has been so much snot that he has a little pink area under his nose from the irritation. Poor thing. Well, come here and let us clean your nose out. Come here and let us put some lotion under your nose. "Don't wipe it off! Leave your nose alone!!!" When I came home from work Friday night my husband said to me, "It is as if he is just defying me on purpose. I swear he looked right at me and wiped the lotion off."

Follow up:

And, that's how it's been most of the day. Nothing detrimental. No life threatening situations. It just feels that all day it has been one little thing after another. I say "no" over and over before I finally raise my voice and then he runs off screaming. We finally get ready to leave for the grocery store and Sir Dantes wants to wear a backpack full of Dr. Suese books. I did not want the books to leave the house. So, a little battle en sewed. My blood pressure was rising and my husband could tell. "Let him take the 'Cars' backpack Sherri. What is the big deal?"

Sigh. Nothing I guess. I guess if he wants to wear a backpack it is not going to hurt anything. So, I gave in. Was this wrong? Should I have stood my ground of "Because I said so"? Should I just be happy that he made a decision of something that he wanted and stood his ground? It is really a big deal? No?

No, it is not a big deal. I have decided that I have to choose my battles. He does have a brain. I ask him if he wants juice or milk. I let him decide which level of the bunk bed he wants to sleep on. We let him choose the cart we use to grocery shop. After all, he will be five years old next week. He is old enough now to make some decisions on his own. And, I think it is an important part of his social development.

Granted, he is autistic and only five. Not every decision he makes will be a good one. Of course he needs guidance and boundaries. There are many things in which the "NO" will be the end of the conversation. But, as with any child, there comes a time when we have to let them decide. What do you like? Do you prefer the white tennis shoes or the red? Do you want more to eat or are you full? We have to let them grow up; autistic or not.

I know there are those out there that will disagree with me. That is okay, I take no offense. I just do not want to be the "no...no...no" parent. It is okay to let them win every now and then. Sir Dantes' self-esteem will more than likely be better for getting to get his way once in a while. He will learn that he is capable of thinking for himself. And, I feel much less stressed having made this decision. He is going to keep growing up and it is our jobs, as his parents, to guide him and to not dominate him. Just because he is autistic does not mean he is a bad decision maker.

If he is not allowed to start making some choices of his own then how can we ever expect him to be self-sufficient? Isn't that what we want as his parents? Well, that is what I want. We will not be around forever. So, Sir Dantes...if you want to wear your backpack to the grocery store...fine with me.