I wanted to find a clever hook for this blog; something that would grab your attention and inspire you to keep reading. I blame this urge on writing to many college essays. However, my mind has gone a little blank. It is probably from lack of sleep (attempt at humor here!). Basically, as Sir Dantes has gotten older the more terrified I become. Yes, terrified.
Some of the things that terrify me are probably not that serious. I have a habit of imagining the worse case scenario for just about everything. As silly or as serious as they may be, I have decided to share some of them with you.
Lately Sir Dantes seems obsessed with eating as many ice cubes as he can. I am not sure if it is the ice cube dispenser on the fridge that fascinates him or, as my husband suggested, that he is teething (five year molars?) and wants something to chew on and numb any pain. Why does this terrify me so? I am afraid of him choking on them. Okay, this one may seem a little silly because the ice would melt and he would resume breathing making it virtually impossible for him to die this way; but think of how scared he would probably be. Of course then, he may stay out of the ice cubes.
Besides checking out the ice cube dispenser, Sir Dantes like to get into the refrigerator. It is not to get something out to eat all the time, but that is part of it. He actually likes to get into the fridge and try to shut the door. This is very serious. First, the food. He could potentially eat something, like raw meat, that could make him very sick. And, shutting himself in the fridge could kill him. We have temporarily stopped this by putting a bike lock on the fridge so he can not open it without a key. The key is hidden. This means every time my husband or I want something we have to go get the key out of hiding. I never realized how much I get into the refrigerator until we locked it. But, for now we have kept Sir Dantes safe until he figures out where the key is hidden.
Keys and Locks
It is not the actual keys and locks that terrify me; it is Sir Dantes finding the keys to unlock the locks on the doors and proceeding to get outside. This past weekend we needed to get some work done in the yard. Daddy decided he wanted to take a break and run down to the market for some sodas. He took Ms. Maxie with him so I decided to lock Sir Dantes in the house and pretend to do some more work. I told Sir Dantes, who at the moment was playing with his trains, that mommy would be right outside. I locked the door and went around to the dining room window, peeked in and waited. Within a few seconds Sir Dantes came into the dining room, scaled some shelves, and grabbed the door key from its hiding place! Well, that key is not there anymore and a new key system has been implemented. Safe for now...
Any Area of The House
Anywhere in the house where Sir Dantes is without one of us is a very terrifying thing. Now that he is much bigger there is not much he can not get into. This makes being in the bathroom (private potty time or even the shower) a hard thing. We try to take our showers and do "our business" while he is asleep or when Ms. Maxie can help keep an eye on her brother, but this is not always possible. If he is awake and I am in the shower I can not get done fast enough! There is no telling what he could be getting into. As careful as we feel we have been to make the house a safe place for our children I can go upstairs right now and find a hundred risk. He may turn on the oven, he may decided to try to cut up a potato, he may decide to try to climb on top of the shelves and fall bringing the shelves down on top of him. He may decide to try to see what happens if he sticks a fork into the electric outlet. You just never, never know.
Any Area Outside
Since Sir Dantes likes to run off almost anywhere outside is a terror. There are a dozen or more things in the garage that could kill him. Of course, there is a road nearby and the woods full of sink holes and caves. There are also a couple of foxes that run around the property. And as attracted to water as he is, I fear the pond and the hot tub. Just like everything else, we have done our best to make all the necessary precautions to keep him safe but as he gets older it gets more and more difficult to keep up with him all of the time.
This is the scariest of all. As much as I love and need sleep, actually being asleep is a scary thing. Sir Dantes, as you already know, wakes up in the middle of the night. He doesn't always come into our bed. I have been waken up at night due to a noise made by him being awake. What if I don't hear him, he finds a key, and makes his escape? The fear that grips me at the thought of this happening is something that I don't think that I can accurately describe. As soon as I wake up in the morning and realize that I am awake I make a beeline for his bedroom. I have to make sure he is there safe. Then, I can get my coffee and if he is still asleep I can take a relaxing shower.
As you can see, just about every moment is a reason to be scared. It does not seem to matter where I am or where Sir Dantes is. It does not seem to matter if I am awake or asleep. It makes for a stressful existent. How do I deal with it? Well, I drink beer and write blogs. It may not be the most healthy way to try to relax but for now it is working. Feel free to share your terrifying thoughts and how you deal with them. I have tried my best to keep this fairly light-hearted, but in reality it is not so. If you have a child with autism you know exactly what I mean. Take care everyone and stay safe.
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